However, as an elementary school aged girl, it was a much different story. I would pretend to be an adult and would let my imagination run free, and I would always find myself standing in front of a class of students and speaking to them in such a way that I'd captivated their eyes and their hearts. I just knew at that age that I would be a teacher. My first moment of validation was in 1st grade when my teacher saw something special in me and allowed me to read my favorite books to the class weekly. Anyone remember Fraggle Rock? It was my favorite book, my favorite cartoon, and my favorite McDonald's toy. :) If you don't know it, YouTube it!
I loved leading and teaching and having an audience. So I held onto the dream of teaching for a little while. But before I was even a teenager, my circumstances had affected my life in such a way that I honestly remember thinking, "There's no point in dreaming". I began to sink into those circumstances and my dreams eventually turned to nightmares of being insignificant, poor, and a failure. I wish I could say that didn't last long but it lasted until my 30th year.
Then, 5 years ago, I felt like there was this thing that I needed to do. It was scary but exciting all at the same time. I wanted to do it. I imagined doing it. Then, before long I started dreaming about it. Dreaming was a foreign feeling to me and I wasn't quite sure I liked it. The fear of inadequacy and failure took over again and so I told myself again, "There's no point in dreaming". And I laid that thing to rest.
But God didn't.
Year after year since then, the desire to do this thing has grown stronger and stronger. The reminder to do this thing keeps showing up in the strangest of ways and I know that the only explanation is that for some reason, unknown to me, I'm supposed to do this thing.
I've learned that no matter how many times I give up on myself, God never gives up on me. No matter how inadequate I may be, God is sufficient. No matter how ill-equipped I am, God is my provider and he has access to every blessing this world has to offer. After all, He created all of them.
This thing I am supposed to do is tell my story and encourage women to move away from their past and into their purpose. This thing I am supposed to do is to breathe a new hope into women who feel like there is no hope available for them. This thing I am supposed to do is write my first book and let God move through it. But I don't even know where to begin. Outside of high school, I've not had much guidance when it comes to writing. I've never stepped one foot into a college class for writers.
I am seriously scared.
Then three weeks ago, God sent one of those blessings I mentioned my way and completely turned my world upside down. I was given an opportunity to take a course on how to write a book and self publish by one of the greatest women I've had the pleasure of knowing. Her name is Elizabeth Lyons and y'all... She is the real deal.
Through her course and the knowledge she is sharing with me, I am finding a new confidence that this goal is actually attainable. She is industrious, engaging, motivational and dedicated. It is obvious that she lives and breathes to do this. This is her purpose and she knows it. She is a dreamer and she propels me to dream big! For the first time in 5 years, I truly believe that this can actually be a reality for me.
Ladies, there is a point in dreaming. For me, It's at the end of my pencil. And I'm determined to put hope and redemption to paper and into your hands.
Never stop dreaming. Dreams are where your destiny is discovered.
Will you dream with me?