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The Silent Mommy

This morning I opened our last pack of baby wipes that were given to us as a gift while were pregnant. Our little baby is a little over 9 months old and man, things have changed in our home in big ways! For a moment, I let myself go back to where we were then as a family but I have to be honest, I didn’t like revisiting it because it hurt a little. We were surrounded by people, friends and family, who were so excited to see what Little Lincoln would be at our gender reveal. Our house isn’t that big but it was packed full of love. Our shower was wonderful, each one, and we had three. Two were surprise showers thrown for us. We had family come that we hadn’t seen in months and we had friends show up that we hadn’t seen in years.  Then, the baby came, and all of that dissipated.  I’ve lost friends that were there during that time. I’ve grown distant from friends that were there. And lonely is a regular feeling in my life now. With each child I’ve had, I’ve suf
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Are You Broken or Blessed?

"I'm soooo tired." "Please don't look at this nasty house." "I've cried four times today." "My God!  Will I ever sleep again?!" These are all just a few of the things that I've repeated day in and day out recently. Not to mention the morning I walked into the prom dress store that was properly staffed with cute high school and college age girls with - you ready for this - milk stains... on my blouse.  That's right - milk stains - on my blouse, while picking up my daughter's prom dress.  There's really not enough words to describe the horror.  Seriously. I'm in a new season of Motherhood and can I just be real for a second?  Can I not be "Insta Mom" with the perfectly clean house and the perfectly filtered pictures of all my perfectly bathed kids sitting pretty and smiling and tell you real quick how I'm really doing? I'm four weeks post childbirth and I'm sleep de
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Would You Drop Your Stone?

Can I talk to you for just a few minutes?  Can I tell you about the woman Jesus knelt for? Most people would say this woman wasn't worthy of any admiration or the time He spent on her to show her she was important.  Some might say, "she made her bed and now she has to lay in it".  Some may shake their pointer finger at her and tsk, tsk, tsk.  How could she cheat on her husband?  How could she commit adultery? "Shame on her." Some may feel broken for her because they know how badly she will suffer now that she's been caught. No matter the differing opinions, one thing is sure.  She was thrown in the road to be stoned to death by the "righteous" and all eyes were on her. No one asked why she did it.  No one cared.  No one knew if her husband cheated first or cheated repeatedly.  No one knew if she was being physically abused.  No one knew if she'd been raped at a young age and was drastically damaged to the point that pure sex
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A Piece of Peace

Yesterday while sitting an intersection, with the weight of the world on my shoulders and traffic buzzing by in front of me, out of the corner of my eye I saw a tiny little bird flutter right by my window.  The light I was sitting at tends to hold for a while so I had a moment to let my eyes follow her.  She landed in a triangle shaped median right in the center of the intersection and it appeared that she could have had a lot on her mind as well.  I was frozen in the moment and today I know why. She was hard at work picking up twig after twig in her little beak.  She would pick one up and then put it back down, and repeat.  She finally settled on one and held it in her beak while she tested out another one and another one.  I watched her, in awe of how she wasn't focused on the traffic whirling by her.  Cars were buzzing by with to do lists, agendas, appointments, full of life and their own personal gain, yet she never stopped what she was doing.  She had
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Ring Around the Rosies!

Remember this game?  If you've never played .... well you missed out!  You get in a circle with all of your friends and hold hands real tight, then you all start running... RUNNING... as fast as you can in one direction.  I remember running so fast that my hair would blow in the wind... I felt like I was running 90mph!  :)  All while chanting that little rhyme "Ring around the rosies, pocket full of posies, ashes, ashes, we all FALL DOWN!!"  At that point everyone just surrenders to gravity and you would all fall at the same time laughing so hard... or at least I would that I would almost pee my pants! HA!  Then up we got and we'd do it all over again!  What pleasure we get out of the smallest things as children.    When you apply this rhyme to your life, does it fit?  It always has in mine.   I have a very difficult time with being consistant.  As a child I had so many sudden changes, that change became the norm for me.  It wasn't until I realized late i
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